


X-Treme FanFic

by ReallyEleanor



Category: Stargate SG-1, Wormhole X-treme
Genre: F/M, International Fanworks Day 2020, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22535935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReallyEleanor/pseuds/ReallyEleanor
Summary: Cameron Mitchell and Daniel Jackson read fanfic on AO3.  In jokes, double entendres, puns, and such ensue.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	X-Treme FanFic

“What the hell are you reading?” Daniel Jackson asked from the doorway. Cam Mitchell was sitting in his office, looking at his computer, laughing so hard Daniel thought he was going to have a stroke and fall out of his chair.

“Wo—” Laughing. “Wor—” Laughing. Cam gave up and pointed at the screen.

Daniel came over and took a look. He started reading out loud.

“‘Doctor Levant looked carefully at the book on the stand.’ Doctor Levant? Isn’t that…?” He looked at Cam nodding, still laughing hysterically. “‘Meanwhile, the librarian came up behind him, naked from the waist up, and stuck her tits in his back.’”

“Keep—” Laughing. “Reading.” Laughing.

“‘Doctor Levant turned. His hand was raised as if to turn the page and he grabbed her generous breast as he whipped around.’” Daniel gave a little ‘ha’ and started reading silently. Cam was still laughing.

“My god, this is TERRIBLE!” Daniel said as he started laughing out loud. On the screen, he read a very badly written sex scene. A very badly written sex scene starring his _Wormhole X-treme_ counterpart, Doctor Levant. Unable to look away, Daniel pulled up a chair and started scrolling through the pages.

Terrible didn’t begin to describe the story. Doctor Levant and the rest of the team had gone on an away mission to a planet with a large library. Said library was filled with very horny librarians. The ‘head’ librarian was with Colonel Danning, giving him head. Major Monroe was enjoying a threesome with the reference librarians on the reference desk (a woman and a man). The librarian in the area with the engineering books and samples was trying to figure out if Grell, the robot, was ‘fully functional.’ Grell was trying to get the woman’s hand out of his pants. Without success.

“Damn, that sounds painful,” Daniel ejaculated.* “Teeth and penises don’t mix well.”

Cam had tapered off laughing and added, “I’m not sure anyone is as limber as they’re making the major out to be.” 

“At least my dick is ‘hujungous.’ As Daniel kept reading, he also started laughing.

Finally, they’d finished the story and sat back in their chairs. They were eventually able to stop laughing, wiping tears out of their eyes. 

“Where in the holy hell did you find that?” Daniel asked.

“It’s from _Archive of Our Own,_ and Martin Lloyd emailed me the link.” Cam picked up his coffee mug and took a big swig. “Fanfic. I guess there’s a lot of it out there. I never thought about it.”

“Who would write something like this?” Daniel had moved to look for a bottle of water in Cam’s fridge.

“Fans. Fans of the show who like to write. They have ideas about other stories, directions the television writers didn’t go. Different endings to episodes. Bridges between events or episodes.” Cam leaned back, crossed his ankles, and continued, “Some of it’s terrible, like this one, but I read a different one that was better than some of the fiction I’ve bought at the bookstore. There’s one-hundred-word ‘ficlets’ and novel-length stories. Millions of written pieces about all kinds of fandoms.”

“Where did you say this is?” Daniel asked.

_“Archive of Our Own. AO3._ It’s a non-profit that maintains the space and lets people post what they want. Freedom of speech at its finest. With disclaimers about copyright violations.” Cam smiled. “I saw, ‘not my characters, I just play with them.’”

Daniel swigged the last of his water and stood. “I’ll have to go on the Internet and look that up.” He walked out of the room, shaking his head.

**Author's Note:**

> *ejaculated is also defined as ‘say something quickly and suddenly.’ The OED also mentions this definition is dated. I couldn’t resist.


End file.
